Ryan Wayne Milley

Oh Our Beautiful Boy Ryan:

I can not tell you how much we miss you. Our hearts hurt so bad. The days are filled mostly with tears. Your friends are around here allot. They take dad to play basket ball he hoses them some time. Shannon and Jose both received the Lord this past Christmas but then I guess you knew that because the Angels sang.

Oh baby Boy! Dad and I can not wait to see you again. I will travel to Russia in April to do medical work with the orphans. Please ask God to watch over your dad. He will miss us both. I will take you both in my heart. But then you never leave there.

Daddy made you a shadow box for all your things . Your letter jacket , your golf club, your sandals some little art work from first grade, your base ball gloves, your cap from graduation and all your old dirty golf caps. It is funny what has become so valuable to me and dad.

Mostly your memory. It keeps us going.

Well Baby Boy,
I love you and I miss you and dad misses you so.
Love you through all Space and Time

Dearest Bear : June 2,2000
Just wanted you to know Bubba your dog died today. But, then I guess you know that. Dad and I were hoping you were already pulling on his mane and playing ball with him.
Daddy made him a little wooden casket and we wrapped him in the old quilt, remember the one I made for you with the ducks on it. We gave him a new tennis ball , one from your box. We buried him in your garden. I will plant pretty flowers there on his grave.
Bear we miss you so much. Daddy and me are taking losing Bubba real hard he was such a wonderful dog. More than that he was your dog. He just turned 11 in April. Remember when we got him he was six weeks old and looked like a little bear.
He was still missing you. When ever Jesse drives up in the Beast he will still go to look for you. He was very sad when you left. Well Baby Boy if dogs go to Heaven then surely Bubba is there with you now. Daddy and I pray so.Remember he loves doggie biscuits.
It is coming up on your second year in Heaven the 22nd so it is a great gift to get Bubba there with you.
We Miss You so. My heart screams for you. We love you Ryan.
Always and forever, your mom and dad.

Dearest Bear:
This is the month of your 21st Birthday.
Dad and I had planned how this day would be, how we would celebrate. We knew from the moment you were born how proud we would be of you when you reached manhood. You have always been a little man. Ryan please know we were always so proud of you and still are.
We knew your friends would all be around and there would be great laughter and fun.
But Baby Boy, excuse me, Baby Man that was not to be part of God's Plan.
So dad and I have placed a beautiful Angel fountain in your Garden and Dad is building a Dove House. We will place special flowers on your grave and your friends plan to go there on your birthday and return here for supper. We will remember you and there will be laughter and I am sure a few tears. But they will be tears of the joy from knowing you in all of our lives.
I have written a poem for you and all the sweet children gone with you to Heaven to be shared at Christmas with all of my Friends of Angel Children. I have enclosed it at the end of this letter for you to read.
Oh my Sweet Bear! How do we go on with out you? Our days are filled with memories of you. All beautiful except the day you left. That one even with God's help has some beautiful memories for us.
You have to know you were the greatest gift Dad and I ever received. Your memory is still the greatest gift we have.
So on this September 20th your 21st birthday my Darling Bear.
I pray God will let you hear the whispers of "I Love You" from Dad , me, your family and ALL of your friends.
Till we meet you at the Gate Ryan. know you live in our hearts and you are always remembered with great love.
Your Mom and Dad
PS: I ran into your principal and those "old guys" LOL, you played golf with and they told me all about how they loved playing golf with you and how much they missed you. They also said what a fine young man you were.
See Bear you were always a little man. I say little you turned out to be 6'2" and still growing. LOL I guess that is why God decided you did not have to be here to turn 21 for that to happen.
Happy Birthday Baby Man !
September 10, 2000

Dear Santa From Heaven:

What is this a letter for me?
The Children of Heaven have summoned me.
There is Ryan the Bear and Desiree’ and Jesse makes three. Jacob, Jason Josh and Robert oh me! Steven, Kory, Jenni, Joe, Jonathan, Tanya and Karen writing for Aaron. Carter, Grayson, Jared, and a set of brothers, Brandon and Joseph, and there is Ryan Steven, and another Ryan with God they must have favor. Scott and Kevin along with the others. Matt, and Pat what about that?
Michael, Kelley, Crystal, Shawn, Eric, and Dan what a young man.
How precious, there are Sherri's Three and Rochelle, Carlie and Ally, We must not dally.

Lets not wait.
It is up with dash and out through the gate.
Up Dancer, Up Prancer, where can I be? Over the clouds and stars can I see.
Gates made of Pearl and streets of gold and such lights never imagined would
I see
Mansions made of crystal and all of your children having such fun.
There's Mary and Joseph and Gods own Son.
A choir of Angels gathered to sing
So many children, with faces that gleam
Oh what do I hear the sound in my ear no other than
Gabriel blowing his horn.
And Moses telling all how Jesus was born.

Landing my sleigh, oh what do I say?
The children are gathering with lots of chattering.
I got your letter but I know no better, just what you want from me?
The children all smiled and shouted with glee.
No gifts do we need just a message to read.
Please take word of our Love and Prayers to those who grieve.
Mostly our parents are the ones in need.
Safely we wait in Heaven above.
Sheltered by Angels and Gods great Love.
They all gave me a hug and waved me away.
So here is your message this Christmas Day.
Mommy and Daddy don't be sad.
Gods Grace and Love has made me glad.
This poem is written in memory of the children listed above
and many more who are remembered in Love
By Frankie Milley

Dearest Bear:
Tonight my heart is sad.
So many have joined you this week in Heaven because of a sick and evil man doing the work of satan.
I know there must be a celebration going on in Heaven to beat anything we have seen here on Earth with all the new arrivals,but could you tell the Lord, not that he already doesn't know there are a lot of broken hearts here on Earth and more to come that only He can heal. A few weeks ago I had a hysterectomy. At first I was sad I lost you and now the very part of my body that carried you would be taken from me. But then I remembered you were here with me in my heart, my mind and my soul.
Tonight I am reminded that 22 years ago your dad and I laid in bed and talked about you being born tomorrow. We discussed how you would look if you were a boy or a girl and your dad ask me "how old you would have to be before your eyes would open." I told him babies were not like puppies they came with their eyes open. The next day the 2oth of September was the most beautiful day of our life.You were the most beautiful baby we ever saw. So sweet and you carried it through till the day you left for heaven. Little did we know that we would have you for only a short time. Would we have done it all again, yes baby boy every minute. Tomorrow the gang, Murph, Arron, Shannon, Jesse, Cristin, , Danny and Chris will meet me for lunch and we will go to the cemetery and we will remember and celebrate the way you touched each of our lives. Tomorrow night Chis and Tonja will bring their new baby boy over,
they named him Christopher Ryan ,they call him Ryan, this weekend we will meet the newest addition to Terry and Frances's family, Austin Ryan and soon we will celebrate the 1st birthday of Courtney and Bubba's baby boy, Luccas Ryan. See baby boy so many loved you.Oh yes, Angela and Marrcus have a new baby girl. Dad and I have bought them all teddy bears in your memory.
I have worked hard this year in your memory we now have a new law in Texas on meningitis, SB31, I help to write and get passed into law and I have started a foundation called Meningitis Angels, God has already blessed it beyond belief. We created a beautiful web site for it, By the way could you tell Mason his mom and dad Linda and Terry paid for it and Cam built it for us..
Please give Jenni a hug for me and tell her her mom misses her so. Hug Christine for me. I know you hate this job LOL but someone has to do it. Oh baby boy, how we miss you my heart screams.

How we long to see you at the gates of heaven.
Well baby I will say bye for now.
Please know how much we love you and miss you.

Submitted by Frankie Milley

September 20, 2001

Dearest Lord,
Thank you for allowing us to have Ryan. We know you only gave him to us for safe keeping a little while, but that he really belonged to you all along.

He was a creation of love, and of all of the beautiful things of Heaven and Earth.

His voice was as a gentle breeze on a warm summer day. His smile like sunshine through the rain. His eyes like the brightest stars on a dark night.

He loved you Lord, and now he is back at home for you to keep safe where we all hope to be one day.

We ask you, Lord, that all those touched by Ryan, who grieve with us will know and understand that your plan is divinely perfect.

We Praise you, Father, for our child and now we fully understand the sacrifice you made with your son on the cross.

We love You. We praise You.

Frankie and Bob

PS Hug our baby everyday, please Lord, and tell him we will see him as soon as you allow.

Mom and Dad

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Ryan's Memorial Site

http://meningitis-angels.org

Email: fmilley@aol.com