Michael David Patterson

It has been 11 months, and I think of this time last year. All of your plans, your dreams, the touch of your hand on my shoulder, your wonderful smile, all of these bring smiles and tears at the same time. You are in everything I see and everything I touch. I see your intelligence, your excitement in even the smallest things, your determination to do well in all things, your expressions, and your deep caring nature in the faces of your children. The pain continues to engulf my every waking moment, and intrudes on my dreams as I sleep. I pray for the day when the memories are not replaced with tears of grief and such a deep, agonizing pain that few can understand. I pray to God to lead me on a path that will assure me that I will one day see and touch your precious face. I pray now, not for undertanding, but for acceptance. I pray to hear you say in my dreams, "It's all good, Mom. I love you." I gaze at the picture on my desk of you and your very young son....a picture taken just 4 weeks before we lost you and just 5 weeks before Chandler's first birthday. How did this happen?! Acceptance is not with me yet. How could this be?!
I miss you so. I love you with every part of my being.
I must believe I will see you again one day. Otherwise, there would be no reason for my existance.
Sleep well, my precious son. You are with me and I with you.